Listening to: Debussy
Watching: the night sky
it always comes to this point at night for me where everyone is in bed dreaming. When this happens it seems like I'm the only one alive on the earth and I'm lonely and bored out of my mind. I'm not sure why i don't sleep much anymore but it is sooooo annoying. Sometimes i just lay in bed and stare at the sky through my window. I begin to think about all the far away places, all the lives asleep in the twilight. I begin to think of the other half of the world thats awake. i begin to dread the work day to come or relish the freedom that will come in a matter of hours. i begin to think of a person that is important to me, and wonder if they feel the way i do. i lay and pray they will cross my path when the stress of life seems to be killing me or driving me mad. then i realize that there aren't many people able to cut through the bitterness of work or other boring moments. Actually only one person has that power. I think of them to pass the time. then i see the moon and i think of all the beautiful clusters of stars and planets and galaxies. I close my eyes and try to imagine the vibrant strokes of cosmic matter speckled with stars and worlds unknown. i begin to think about myself and how i lock away my desires and needs just so i can be accepted. i sink in my bed as sadness creeps through the darkness. Im afraid the loneliness wont end, its a reoccurring thought. An artist wrote that one of the most cruel flaws given to humans is the lack of understanding between one another, the fact that we will never be able to walk in ones shoes and know exactly how they feel. i look out into the night sky and wonder if i will ever meet someone that will completely understand me. i wonder if a person can make all the stress and anxiety that i feel melt away. A person that will lift me higher that i could ever ascend by myself. i wonder if the one i pray to see is that one. eventually i will see the night sky withdraw and i try to force dreams. in a flash the alarm clock sounds and Im off to combat the day. in hopes that that person will cross my path......